If you’ll permit me, I’ll forgo the usual bio. It’s boilerplate stuff anyway — builds professional experience through odd jobs out of college, leverages transformative experience of a master’s in marketing to land a job at a reputable agency (this one). There, you’re up to speed. Instead, let me offer a brief character portrait.

Of the wildlife in our office, I’m among the quieter and more reclusive. If you drop by for a tour, you may not see me, though I am surely around. I spend the days curled up in my warm loft corner under an electrical box encrusted with magnetic poetry, emerging at intervals to feed and drink.

When the advice of a digital marketer or the creativity of a copywriter is demanded, I will appear at the behest of my peers. I apologize then if I remain mostly quiet. My brain is at work, my value will manifest. Quiet is just how I am — quiet in demeanor, even quiet in tread, spooking folks who don’t hear my feline approach.

But don’t be fooled. Make a casual remark — like “People’s attention spans are now only eight seconds” or “I’m not sure we landed on the moon” — and I’m liable to pounce, like a jaguar, from out of the dense verdure of my quietude. You’ve nothing to fear; I was raised in captivity. I only paw at whatever arouses my curiosity.

One would think with all these cat metaphors I’d be less of a dog person.